Friday, February 10, 2006

New State Mottos

Disclaimer: These were not made up by me, but by other people. These are fictitious state mottos, but some really hit home.

Alabama: Keeping it in the family since 1819.

Alaska: We get to kill whales and you don't.

Arizona: Dehyrd-rific.

Arkansas: Literasy ain't everything!

California: Caution: Large Fake Breasts On Board!

Colorado: Too wimpy to cross the mountains, so we stopped here.

Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only the Kennedys Don't Own It Yet.

Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water.

Florida: Senior Citizen Discounts Available.

Georgia: Confederate Money Welcome.

Hawaii: Come, Get Lai-ed.

Idaho: We Don't Care If You Spell Potato With an "E".

Illinois: Stop Pronoucing The "S", Or We're Gonna Kick Your Ass!

Indiana: Dan Quayle's Favorite Country!

Iowa: Our Trees Bend North Because Minnesota Sucks.

Kansas: Don't Blame Us, We Voted For Dole.

Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names.

Louisiana: We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign.

Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster.

Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It.

Massachusetts: Now with 30% fewer Kennedys!

Michigan: It's not just cold. It's ass-biting cold.

Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes...and 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes.

Mississippi: Come and Feel Better About Your Own State.

Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars Hard at Work.

Montana: It's Where You're Wanted.

Nebraska: You're Not in Kansas Anymore!

Nevada: Hookers and Poker!

New Hampshire: Go Away and Leave Us Alone!

New Jersey: You Want a ##$%## Motto? I Got Yer ##$%## Motto Right Here.

New Mexico: We Really Are One of the 50 States!

New York: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney...

North Carolina: Sure, we've got weird, blue-skinned, inbred mountain dwellers, but at least we don't still fly the confederate flag!

North Dakota: Um, We've Got, Um...Dinosaur Bones? Yeah, Dinosaur Bones!

Ohio: Home of Lake Erie and the Mistake by the Lake.

Oklahoma: Oklahoma: Named After an Indian Tribe We Slaughtered.

Oregon: Spotted Owl...It's What's For Dinner.

Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal.

Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY an Island.

South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn't Actually Surrender.

South Dakota: Hello? Can anyone hear me? Hey! Over here!

Tennessee: The Ejucashun State.

Texas: We Kill 'em So YOU Don't Have To.

Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus.

Vermont: We don't care who you marry, as long as we get the license fee.

Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs and Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington: Help! We're Overrun By Nerds and Slackers!

West Virginia: Got Teeth?

Wisconsin: Cutting the Cheese Since 1848.

Wyoming: Why Are You Here?

2 comments:

Lace Up And Run said...

Does this mean you didn't like the motto I posted for Colorado?

I agree.....really nice view! It's breathtaking each time I see those mountains.

Bolder said...

ha!

could we find a better view -- NO!

so we stopped here.

http://static.flickr.com/20/72232945_8b49a13ca3_b.jpg